Tuesday, May 03, 2011

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LOOKING GOOD AND GOING NOWHERE

I have mentioned this concept several times during this trip to the UK – and it has elicited quite a response from more than a few people. Initially, I was describing some of the things that hold people back from progress on the mat; one of them being a need to not look silly – not fail – which keeps us bound to the predictable and the same ‘ol same ‘ol.
The desire to LOOK GOOD - be cool – be well-liked - is something that most of us can identify with. It begins for most, in the school-yard, where the need for social acceptance is strong. Many, many people, carry this need well into adulthood and fail to realize what a crippling effect it can have on the course of our lives.
If we are okay with looking goofy on the mat, trying new techniques and failing (perhaps even being punished for the effort) – then we cannot help but improve and develop. If we are overly obsessed with LOOKING GOOD, we almost guarantee our stagnation.
But how does this need to LOOK GOOD effect us off the mat? How does it impact on our lives? In many, many, many cases – it has a profound effect.
For instance, I have seen a lot of people held back by their overly consumptive lifestyles – the need to LOOK GOOD (living large) seriously impeding the possibility of them ever achieving real financial freedom. You don’t need to earn a lot of money to become a millionaire for example – but there are many people earning very high incomes that will never achieve even that modest milestone – largely because they need to wear the right suits, sport the best watch, and be see by others to be living the LIFE. Quite a few of my friends who count their net worth in the millions, wear plain clothes (bought off the internet), enjoy inexpensive hobbies, many even have modest incomes - but they do not have a burning desire to LOOK GOOD – they accumulate wealth easily and most do not care much at all what others think of them.
We do need to have standards – sure – we all want to look good to a degree; what I am saying though, is that we shouldn’t let this dominate the way we live our lives or allow it to adversely effect our situation. Overly caring about what others think of you can really impact negatively on our learning, on where we live, on how we behave, on the amount of savings we have – and ultimately, on how happy and fulfilled we are.
JBW

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4 Comments

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So very true. Thanks for the amazing seminar John.

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Funny that I'd see this post seconds after I posted my (first of many) post influenced by your seminar.

Great words John.

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Anonymous 12:27 pm

How true in this material world we live in. I see so many people who don't realise that happiness and being at peace with yourself is an internal thing. It cannot be bought and neither can the rewards it brings.

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that was a great piece of writing, I agree with the view about spending money on consumption or to look good at the detriment of saving is a bad idea.

I would say that 99% of people in this world do not like looking silly in front of a group.This does not stop you from learning new things inmo , if you want to practice a new move then practice on your own until you have it right or practice in private one on one with your coach .

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