The ONE piece of the PUZZLE …
It’s easy to become lulled into thinking that all we need to do, to be fulfilled and complete, is to find that ONE all-important, last piece of the puzzle. I used to feel this way on the mat. When I just develop ‘stickier’ hooks, my Guard will finally be just right … but then it happens; no sooner do we develop those stickier hooks, than another flaw in our game suddenly becomes apparent to us, on so we embark on another quest.
As is the case with so many things I have learned on the mat, the same dynamic seems to pervade the non-grappling aspects of our lives. It is easy to fall victim to the illusion that all we need is that one vital piece of the puzzle, and everything will finally be just perfect; when in fact, that is vey rarely true. As soon as we have paid off that mortgage, mended that broken leg, disassociated ourselves from that poisonous friend, got those new tyres for our car, etc – another of life’s challenges leaps out to pull in our full attention.
But here’s some advice that I have given many a student over the years – ‘Wherever you are is where you need to be’ – meaning, that if you are stuck under side-control every time you hit the mat, then that’s where you need to be because it presents the perfect opportunity to develop escape and defensive skills from that position; same goes for every position and in fact, every situation. On or off the mat, whatever is going on, whatever the situation we are in, is exactly where we need to be right now. Imagining that we only need to find that next all-important piece of the puzzle before everything will be just right – is not only deluded thinking – it ensures that we continue to miss the point; that being, right here, right now is where we need to be – and where the fun and the real living is to be had.
Last piece of the puzzle? No such thing!