WHAT HOLDS PEOPLE BACK FROM SOLVING THEIR PROBLEMS? Want to lose weight, want to fix the financial problem, want to repair the relationship, want to escape a tight side-control? Can’t do it … perhaps you are asking the wrong question … when deep-in-the-shit most people ask the wrong question; they ask “CAN I FIX THIS?” – and the answer comes back, a resounding “NO WAY!”
MY ANSWER: Ask the right question – one that will give you a YES answer. And that question is this … “Can I improve my situation by 5%?” Answer: Well, yes .. I CAN do that!
So far so good … now for the tricky stuff …
Once you improve your situation by 5% - you need to RECOGNIZE that you did so; most people fail to do so – and so quickly revert to their sense of helplessness.
Imagine you want to lose 30 lbs: You ask the right question, which is “CAN I LOSE 2LBS? You get yourself a YES answer … of course you can do that! And so you do, in one day! But then you look in the mirror and what do you see? The same thing … the real tragedy here is that we don’t tend to notice the 5% gains – we look in the mirror and don’t notice the 2lbs are gone … so the hopeless mindset comes back and we drop back into our old habits. If we NOTICED the 5% improvement, we would be motivated to pursue another 5% improvement and suddenly the problem would melt away. The big thing here is that we FAIL TO NOTICE.
We fail to notice, for exactly the same reason that we fail to notice that first 5% step into decline that we take in the first place.
If we were only 2lbs overweight, we could easily remedy the problem in a single effort (step) – maybe over the weekend. The problem is that we FAIL TO NOTICE that we have put on 2lbs, (or are $1000 in debt – or that our relationship has formed cracks, or that our opponent is passing our Guard). Next time we pop our heads up to take a look – we are 30 lbs overweight – and it’s only then we ask the question – USUALLY THE WRONG QUESTION: “CAN WE FIX THIS … NOW – IN ONE GO?” Answer: Nope!
Imagine we are bushwalking: on solid, dry ground – then suddenly, SQUELCH! The ground has become soggy – but we fail to notice. Next thing, we are neck deep in the swamp – asking the wrong question. If we noticed the SQUELCH, we could step back onto dry land easily – problem averted! But we fail to notice these 5% declines … just like we fail to notice the 5% improvements.
Noticing the 5% declines – and noticing the 5% improvements – is a huge key to both avoiding drama and fixing drama. 5% is HUGE! Notice it … at both ends.